Surfski Knowledge Base

Reivers Dustin
05/30/17 #21413

I feel like I'm the hollywood gossip queen of Bellingham. Everyone else is so tactful and reticent. I'm that guy talking about everyone's crap hanging out. So, hey no apologies. People compliment me on my writing (when it's about someone else.)

Pecking order mayhem. Underdogs turned into top dogs all over the place. Like when Slim Pickens says, “What 'n the Wild World of Sports isa goin on here.” I lost the kayak leg on the running part. Didn't help to have Marcus throwing me under the bus in front of my home crowd. He's like, “you're supposed to run!” I was running, like a 66 year old man runs. I noticed a lot of kayakers were smarter about their pace. That transition of effort from lower body to upper body is crushing if you go too hard. I passed a guy before the first turn (starting to feel good about myself). Then Kevin goes by like the wicked witch of the west on her broom. He sits so upright it looks like he's doing maybe five mph. But not. I killed myself trying to draft. Thank goodness for the boat wakes on the leg back to GP turn. I think somebody else passed me but by then my tears were blurring my vision.

Pre-race: the guys had their fun winding up Deano. They start talking about the small craft advisory coming in. The weeds were out of control. Then we talk about his competition. He's got something in his pre-race drink that makes all the same old tricks work every year. We almost had him ready to put his giant weed magnet rudder on. But then everyone turned on me. My team “Unorthodox” was on fire. In place sixth off the river. Feeding frenzy on RD's ego. “How does that make you Feel?”, yadda yadda. I had to go hide in the porta potties for a while. But then. I had to come out because there is going to be a later. A whole year of post race shame. gawd. I tried to shift back to Deano by pointing out that Nicholas will probably get the handoff right after him and will climb over him like a kid on a chocolate chip cookie. But then Nicholas got his chip first and Dean was off the hook. … Is it considered unattractive in a man when he's glad to be behind someone in a race? With all the new age etiquette I can't tell. men are supposed to cry and everything now.

But then I'm hanging out for 20 minutes and my team is not called. Our guy had a flat and his pump blew up. We went from 6th to 21st. I took it rather well. About like Dean would. After the race my team calculated our place w/o the flat. We could have “plaqued” if I would have been able to out paddle DJ. So my team will never know. Unless one of you scamps tell them. I did get a message from an old work buddy. He says, “Whadja do - leave the parking brakes on? You let LB beat you by 1 minute 6 seconds”. Actually made me feel good to be that close to LB.

Next year we need to get the Canadian border closed. For one thing how did Bob P turn into “Rapid Robert”? Dude was fast. It's kinda like there's two sides to the new rapid results technology. By the way congrats to Beavers Tree, and Brian Eckert for top dog Mtn Bike. or cyclecross. whatever.

rd

Nicholas Cryder
05/30/17 #21415

Lol nice write up. We had our little heckling session at the staging area between Scoggins, Swetish, Klinedinst and Klein. Amazing how funny all that is until you're the one in shoot.

Also, you forgot to mention Sally just missed a top ten paddle finish by a whisker on a veteran paddler's… ear. She's only gonna be faster next year!