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re sandbaggers

Sandbagging is a kind of psyche technique to use on rivals and as well as unsuspecting newbies - it can involve

  1. understating upcoming difficulties
  2. exaggerating your own poor preparation/condition to perform or compete.

One of the nice things about type 2 sandbagging - it's similar to the skill needed for making excuses when you really are not at your peak - Excuses

Erik Borgnes
05/27/10 #8484

Ok, so not specifically “paddling”, but it does apply to “paddlers” as many of us once were former bike racers and developed this psycho-pathology in that sport - and then carried it over to paddling. Forgot where I found this, but it's too funny to not pass on, and if I sent it once already, then sorry, but it's funny the second time too:

Cyclists are the biggest sandbaggers and secret trainers around. They'll say anything to soften you up for the kill. Don't let this happen to you. Study this handy rider's phrasebook to find out what they really mean when they say:

“I'm out of shape”
Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't missed a day since the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage rate.

“I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in shape” —
Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling and whimpering. I will win the line sprint if I have to
force you into oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have to grab your seat post, and spray energy drink in your eyes.

“I'm on my beater bike”
Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using titanium blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs less than a fart and costs more than divorce.

“It's not that hilly”
Translation: This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign. Be careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over – backward. You have a 39×23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.

“You're doing great, honey”
Translation: Yo, lard ass, I'd like to get home before midnight. This is what you get for spending the winter couch potato-ing and chip dipping guacamole. I shoulda married that fine Cat 1 racer when I had the chance.

“This is a no-drop ride”
Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing for the search-and-rescue dogs.

“It's not that far”
Translation: Bring your passport

Re: re sandbaggers
kathleen petereit

05/27/10 #8487

Hah….that is so good. Perfectly describes an ortho surgeon I work with ! He get's rigged up with more gadgets than Larry G and is constantly telling me about his wattage output etc on certain hill climbs. He's obsessed….kinda like a few of us.


Re: re sandbaggers
Larry <lbussing@…>

05/27/10 #8488

You're right, that was funny. And apparently a lot of ex-bicyclist have moved into paddling. Pre-race talk is hilareous. Larry B

Re: re sandbaggers
lori & beau whitehead

05/27/10 #8489

Yeah, just wait until they get power(watt) meters on the water (maybe they already do?) All you will hear is “I have to stay in zone 2 today” or “I need to avg 400 watts for 20 minutes today and then I have to recover at 200 watts for 10 minutes.” Fortunately, these are the guys who usually finish last, or haven't had a date in 10 years.

Beau Whitehead

Re: re sandbaggers
paul clement

05/27/10 #8494

Um, I have a watt meter on my bike… It is useful.

But usually I just go super hard all the time and only ride long hilly miles. I could crush you but I had yogurt for lunch and I am wiped out from my afternoon photoshoot (you too Hilburn?). Yeah, I'm feeling good. When I get the dosing right, I will be with DJ, Brandon and maybe even Joost ;) Start pointing your HD camera forward if you want to catch some film.

That's real talk there. None of that, “I'm trying to be patient and allow my speed to catch up with me as I try to perfect my form and timing”. that kind of talk is for wussies.


Re: re sandbaggers
lori & beau whitehead

05/27/10 #8495

Paul, I do believe your name was one of those on “the list” produced last week by Floyd Landis…

Beau Whitehead

Re: re sandbaggers

05/28/10 #8508

Thanks Erik. Here are some paddle-specific ones from “anonymous” sources:
“If the race is long I'd better bring a bag lunch for the beach.”
“My arms are too weak to whisk an egg.”
“I passed your wife/husband awhile back and s/he's crying because you went ahead and abandoned him/her.”

sandbagging.txt · Last modified: 2021/01/19 03:38 by preavley